Small Acts. Big Difference.

Sometimes there is pressure to do things on a grand scale, whether it's throwing a party or personal accomplishments. Such as graduating from university. It's ok to graduate, but it's much better to graduate with honours, awards, and about 5 years earlier than expected. I'll admit, I often feel unskilled and unimportant since I haven't really done anything on a grand scale. But there are instances that remind me that the little things are important too (and sometimes can have a great impact).

When I was in university (we're talking 5 - 9 years ago - I can't remember exactly when this happened) I was home during the day and my dog (Teeka) needed to go for a walk. She wasn't the easiest dog to walk, as she was very picky about the places where she would "go". And she was a bit anti-social. Sometimes downright mean, but that was mostly with family. She was pretty civil with the general public.

I had just exited my building with Teeka, wanting to get  the walk over with as quickly as possible, when I passed a man who stopped to play with her. He was gentle, and kind. She was on her best behaviour, and let the man pet her. I kept trying to come up with an exit strategy when the man began to speak. I cannot recall his exact words, but I'll paraphrase what he said below.

"I love dogs and kids. They don't care who you are, they always take time to play with you. They make you feel important."

I believe he mentioned that adults sometimes ignore him.  As I listened to him, I was glad I stopped. I can't be certain, but it seemed he had a disability. I realized that because he was different, a lot of people made him feel small, unimportant, or insignificant. And I almost did the same thing that so many other people had done - brushed this man off to continue on with my day. Honestly, there wasn't a good reason for me to be in a hurry. I just wanted to get back to my computer, or t.v. or something equally lame. My desire to rush was purely selfish. I felt ashamed.

Here's the thing: I probably didn't change this man's life, but hopefully I helped make his day a little brighter. I helped create a memory that would remind him that he has value, and a memory that would humble me and remind me that the easiest way to spread love in my community is to set aside a little bit of time to give someone my attention. I am reminded that everyone matters, and I shouldn't make time for people because of their appearance, ability, gender, race, religion, sexuality, political views, etc. I should make time for people because they matter. That's it.

Grand gestures, huge fundraisers, big shows,  or accolades are not a requirement to make a difference. This doesn't mean these things aren't good - it's just that they aren't the be-all and end-all for making a difference. Something as small as starting a conversation, smiling, holding a door open, or giving up your seat on the bus (which people need to do more - but I'll save that rant for another day) can impact someone. It can encourage, motivate, start a friendship, and more. And I believe a string of small acts can go a long way, and create a big change.

So what did I do with this realization? I try to be considerate. If I'm at a store, and I've picked up something I no longer want, I make the effort to put it back where I found it (in the same condition I found it). Sometimes I even straighten things up a little if I can. I try to remember to smile when I catch someone's eye. I return my shopping cart to the corral (and sometimes take a stray cart along with me). I respond if someone tries to make conversation. If an opportunity to encourage someone comes up, I take it. Sometimes I get a case of the grumpies and don't stick to this plan very well, but I hope that little by little I get better at pushing my feelings aside to do something nice for someone else.

Tamara's Guide To: Flying

I, myself, cannot fly. I don't have wings (unless you count flabby arms, but please, don't). And I'm not a pilot. But I've been a passenger on plenty of flights over the past couple of decades, and feel inspired to share my wisdom with the masses (which probably consists of my sisters, and my mom). I'm not a frequent flyer or anything, but I've been on enough flights that I feel qualified to provide tips. And anecdotes, of course. So let's get to it.


1. Pack a snack.
Airlines don't always feed you anymore (and if they do, it can be pricey and the selection usually sucks). Buy a snack ahead of time. Buy it at the airport if you have to. While you might be ripped off with higher prices, it's better than starving in the air.

2. Go to the bathroom before boarding.If your flight is short, you may be able to avoid the hassle of dealing with tiny, cramped, airplane washrooms. Besides, flushing that toilet is scary. It's loud, and I'm pretty sure if you lean over it you can get sucked in. When flushing, get as far away from that thing as fast as you can. It's for your own safety!

3. Go easy on the beverages.Especially if you don't have the aisle seats. Those sitting in your row will appreciate not having you squish past them on your way to the teeny tiny torture toilet. And you will avoid potentially rubbing your butt against a stranger, and getting sucked into the planes septic tank. Win-win-win
.

4. Try really hard not to kick the seat in front of you.
Seriously, this is annoying. One or two kicks I can forgive, but more than that, and you're testing my patience. Do this to me, and I will spend the entire flight fantasizing about kicking you in various places. And I don't want to be a jerk (or think like one). So, just don't.

5. Eat gentle foods pre-flight.
If you know something could upset your stomach, don't eat it. If your stomach doesn't feel quite right before boarding, take some Gravol, Pepto Bismol, Immodium, Gas-X or something. Seriously, I was once on a flight where a woman spent the entire time lying across the seats in her row, moaning, and passing gas. Loudly. She was lucky there was an empty row. I was lucky the smell didn't reach my seat.

6. Don't use my seat as a foot rest.
Any part of my seat that is intended as a foot rest is fair game. Any other part? No. And it's not about you moving or kicking my seat. It's about me not wanting to interact with your feet. On the way home from my honeymoon (we flew first class baby!) the woman behind me thought it was a good idea to put her BARE foot on my armrest. Seriously. My spidey-senses tingled, I looked behind me, and there it was. Her crusty-looking naked foot. NOT OKAY! My unprotected elbow could have touched that! What if she had foot fungus or athlete's foot or really bad toe jam? EW!

7. Layer your outfit for maximum comfort.
Sometimes you might be warmer/colder than intended. Prepare yourself (I suggest a t-shirt with a light sweater, and pants that aren't too thick or thin). Wear clothes that are comfortable. And, if possible, look cute. It never hurts to look cute :)

Oh, and no booty shorts or really short skirts or anything. Those things ride up, and should you choose to wear them, your bare butt cheeks are likely rubbing against that seat. The idea of what might be deposited on or picked up from public seats makes me cringe. Ugh. Let's change the topic.

8. Don't be obnoxious.
Don't speak too loudly, be polite to others, don't whine, etc. Basic common courtesy stuff.

9. Be sensitive to anxious flyers.
If someone has a white knuckled grip on their armrests, it may not be a good idea to discuss exactly how many engines the plane can lose and still fly or land safely. Or about the worst turbulence you ever encountered (mine was on my way to Cayo Coco, Cuba. The plane shook, and suddenly dropped a few feet. Fun times).

Good idea: engage the anxious flyer in conversation (about something other than flying) and get their mind off of their troubles. And try to ignore the fact that they might be exerting a death grip on your armrest. Now is a time to share.

By the way - does anyone know how many engines a plane can lose and still fly? I feel like the answer is 2.

10. Don't get up while the flight attendants are distributing food/beverages.
It doesn't matter how thin you think you are, you are not getting past that cart. Wait it out.

Ten seems like a reasonable number for a list, so I'll stop there. Mostly because I'm out of tips. And stories. If you're travelling anytime soon, have a great trip!